Monday, October 11, 2010

The Len Evans Theory of Capacity

I've been carrying an A4 piece of paper with Uncle Len's 10 Commandments around for years. I thought it was worthy of a retype into a more public forum so I can now relax about losing that faded sheet.
What do you reckon?

1,2 and 3 are indisputable. 3 is what keeps me inspired
4 is a bit suss but is saved by linking it with 8. That bottle a day shared with friends is what it's all about.
5 is a truly interesting concept and I'd add people who drink the same wine over and over again.
6 I know these people. It's a glorious obsession that impresses me far more than philately
7. Len wrote this before the era of pre-mixes, but he'd feel the same way about them.
8. This just about sums it up for me and combined with 3 explains why I'm in this business
9 and 10 are both decidedly suss, but to leave them out would be tantamount to censorship and 8 points doesn't quite have the same ring as 10.

The Len Evans Theory of Capacity

1. There is an awful lot of wine
in the world, but there is also a lot of awful wine.
2. No sensible person drinks to excess, therefore any one person can only drink a certain amount in a lifetime.
3. There are countless flavours, nuances, shades of wine; endless varieties, regions, styles. You have neither the time nor the capacity to try them all.
4. To make the most of the time left to you, you must start by calculating your future total capacity. One bottle a day is 365 bottles a year. If your life expectancy is another 30 years, there are only 10,000-odd bottles ahead of you.
5. People who say: "You can't drink the good stuff all the time" are talking rubbish. You must drink good stuff all the time. Everytime you drink a bottle of inferior wine, it's like smashing a superior bottle
against the wall. The pleasure is lost forever - you can't get that bottle back.
6. There are people who build up huge cellars, most of which they have no hope of drinking. They are foolish in over-estimating their capacity but they err on the right side and their friends love them.
7. There are also people who don't want to drink good wine, and are happy with the cheapies. I forgive them. There are others who are content with beer and spirits. I can't worry about everybody.
8. Wine is not meant to be enjoyed for its own sake; it is the key to love and laughter with friends, to the enjoyment of food, beauty and humour and art and music. Its rewards are far beyond its cost.
9. What part is wine of your life? Ten percentum: Ergo, 10 percent of your income should be spent on wine.
10. The principle should be applied to other phases of life. A disciple kissed a beautiful young lady and she demurred. He was aghast and said "Don't get the wrong idea.I've worked out I can only make love another 1343 times. I'm bloody sure I'm not wasting one on you"

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